The Confusion of Growing Older

I'm sitting her, trying to finish writing my rough draft and not having a lot of luck with it. I thought it would be a little easier than the last ones....try something new and write about it sounds so easy! It's turning out not to be so easy.

I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. After my college visits, I've been thinking about where I should go and what I should do. I've even been questioning my choice of major, what I should do with the rest of my life..even if I should even continue going or just take some time to figure out what I want to do.

My mind is just not on my schoolwork lately. It isn't on anything that has to do with school, except for the panicky thought that I'm probably going graduate with less than the 4.0 that I have held onto for my entire life......because I currently have two classes that I have B's in instead of A's. I don't even want to think about studying for the two tests I have in the middle of this week.

I guess this is the junior college version seniors' being distracted by graduation's approach. I am counting the days until May 7th. Then it will just start all over at whatever school I choose. I know people say that you should stay in school, because you'll have to work all your life when you're done, but I just don't know how much more of it I can take. Hurry up summer......I need another break!

One Month, One Week, and a Few Days!

Spring break is slowly ending, and I just don't think it was long enough. We should definitely get TWO weeks off, that would be way better. The only thing keeping me going, however, is that once we get back to school, I will have just a little over a month until i graduate! Yes, that's right- someone is actually getting out of Darton in only TWO YEARS! YAY!

Needless to say (but I will say it anyways), I am very excited about graduating. I am so close, I can already feel the weight lifting off my shoulders, only to slam back down when the realization that I still have a lot of work to do before that day. This coming up week alone, I have our rough draft due and two tests that I am not yet prepared to take.

But back to spring break. I think it has worn me out, as opposed to rejuvenating me. All I want to do is go to sleep, but no, I have too much homework to do before I can. This blog, work on my paper, English writing, find an essay. Keep looking at colleges, make a decision, find the CRN #'s of the two classes I'm taking over the summer, pay my GAP bill....the list just goes on and on for days. You'd think I would have accomplished SOMETHING over this break.

It's not as bad as I make it out to be. I actually did do homework before today. In fact, I read Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" yesterday afternoon- not an easy feat. And not my choice to do so, but I had put it off accidentally by forgetting my Brit Lit book when we went out of town on Sunday. Since we didn't get back until Wednesday, the reading fell to Thursday. Now everything else has fallen to today, tomorrow, and Sunday. I decided that reading seventy plus pages of Shakespeare was enough for one day.

I also did some more "research," if you will, on my poker-paper. I went to play last night, and it was probably the most fun I'd had during the break. I have a great idea to buy a green visor and get my name put on it so I can be a 'serious-looking' player.

Thinking about it, I guess I did get SOME things done. Not nearly enough, but some. Hopefully I can accomplish some more things before I collapse from the exhaustion that is spring break.

Oh, To Be Creative!

I've been thinking about our next paper. I always begin writing them in my head before I put anything down on paper. This one is no different.

As you might already know from discussions in class, I am writing about learning how to play poker. The problem is my creativity!

I'm trying to do as much as I can to have information about poker-playing. I've been taught HOW to play. I've practiced playing online a lot, on yahoo.com. This week I am taking it up a notch- I am going to play a REAL poker game with people- in PERSON!

Oddly enough, my Sunday school teacher and her husband (also a Sunday school teacher) have a weekly poker night at their house. They both teach college students, so they have basically just opened up their house to their classes every Thursday night. I've never been, but I'm going this week!

My best friend, Sara, goes every week. She never plays poker......mainly because she doesn't know how. She and a few other girls watch the boys play while they talk and eat. This week will be different- I will be playing! It won't be just a 'guy game' this time. And maybe, just maybe, I'll win!

It's an addicting thing, this game of poker. I'm definitely trying to not get addicted to betting fake money on the internet. So, until our paper is due, I will be a poker machine. After that, I'm quitting cold turkey! Just keep me away from those slot machines......

3/18/08