All I Have to Give....

bonus points if you can tell me who sings the song with that same title. (stalker marie will get that, no problem)

i am bummy today. i feel horrible, can't breathe, headache, backache. annoyances. i skipped my first class AGAIN because i got no sleep last night. i might do it again if i don't sleep tonight since my retail math class is easy and has no attendance policy.

i frequently work myself up over things, some that i can control and some that i can't. tonight's episode is a usual one- i miss singing. it has been so long since i have been on stage, performing in front of anyone. in fact, it has been almost two years since i was in a musical, longer since i was just on stage singing with no sets/acting/costumes. i moan about it to caleb constantly, i'm sure he is tired of hearing it: i want to be a singer. nothing else. i want to tour the country, performing in front of big or small crowds, singing my heart out on stage. i want to have my own cds in stores and do what i love every single day. i have tried so many things to make this come true- i've written enough songs to make a cd, tried to learn how to play the guitar and the piano, tried to get OTHER people who have previously written songs to write them for me, tried to record stuff with mark's equipment, inquired about recording at the levee, researched different places i've found online where you can upload your demo cds.......sigh. i don't know what else to do. other than actually learn how to play those instruments. but the guitar hurts my fingers. at least caleb's does.

anyway. this is what is bothering me right now. that, the sickness, and the fact that i have a test tomorrow and haven't slept all week. i am so tired and out of it that i am having trouble spelling words, and that does not normally happen to me (so excuse any misspelled words).

i am sleepy. i am going to crawl under the covers and probably not sleep for a while, not for lack of trying. this will more than likely be on my mind for a while, so that won't help. goooodnight.