30 Day Challenge: Day 18

Day 18: Something You Regret

This post is something I have been mulling over for days. I haven't written it because I haven't had the time to dedicate to it, and I couldn't decide exactly what to tell you about during this entry. There are not many things I regret in my life- I try to believe that everything, and every choice I make, is for a reason, for a higher purpose. That being said, it would be crazy if there was absolutely nothing I regret in my short life. I could probably count the things I regret on one hand. There are major life-altering regrets, and some that people might think are trivial. There are regrets involving relationships, involving families, and even friendships. I have decided to write about one of the regrets that has recently plagued me almost every day.

When I was a senior in high school, filling out my college applications, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't know where I wanted to go, what I wanted to be my major, or where I could see myself in the years to come. I ended up at Darton- a place I never wanted to go. I ended up being a criminal justice major who just did theatre on the side. After a while, I decided that majoring in criminal justice was just not for me. I decided to change to either journalism (to appease my love of writing) or history (to appease my love of knowing things that happened in the past). I ended up choosing journalism, and that is what I stuck with through my first two years.

I don't know exactly when the regret started. Maybe when I moved to Athens, maybe before then. All I know is that somewhere along the line I realized that my heart did not belong to journalism, to history, not even to the fashion that I study now. It belongs to music. It belongs to the theatre. It belongs to the memory of me, on stage, in costume, singing at the top of my lungs to the audience. Every single piece of me wishes I would have simply majored in music or theatre during college. I would have had a built-in platform to perform.

Now, I am studying fashion and it just doesn't cut it. It doesn't make me happy. I don't dream of doing this for the rest of my life. And as the years pass, I am just digging myself in deeper and deeper, and I have no idea how I will come out of the life I am building and get to where I want to be. But nothing is impossible. If it is meant to be, it will happen. I will be who I am supposed to be one day, and not a day sooner.